Adam James.

My existential epiphany

My existential epiphany

Today I was lying in a field in the hinterland. There had been some rain the night before, the air had a cold bite to it even though the sky was cloudless and the sun shone bright. Everything felt crisp, clean & clear. The sky was an intense blue which made the grass seem greener.  I had this unusual epiphany. My greatest fear is oblivion. Nothingness. I felt for an instant like I was on the bottom of earth, barely clinging on, and looking downward below me into a blue oblivion. I felt I might fall if I let go of the earth beneath my back. I allowed my mind to really accept the experience to a point where my body was surged with fright. Like in a dream when you fall off a cliff and then wake yourself up by jumping in your bed.

It occurred to me in that moment everything and everyone that has ever lived, anything that was ever done worth writing or fighting for in the history of our planet was done in this thin layer of atmosphere. Below our feet is a mere thin layer of dust and above us extends to oblivion. Every kiss, every baby loved into life, all love loved and every laugh laughed.  Every tear that ever dropped, every sword forged and plunged into a man’s breast unnecessarily ending his life, all promises broken, all sins unforgiven happened in this thin layer of atmosphere coating the dust of our ancestors beneath our feat.

And on this minuscule stage where we find our souls embedded in our bodies which can only survive here. Everything and everyone shares life in this same fragile window of time and space. In a few moments our short sojourn here will end and we will continue on to what each of us might have next.

The only thing that we all share in common is life and the brittle precious moments where we get to love and be loved. So often I find myself getting distracted with ‘important things’ which just aren’t. Paperwork, arguments, fear, pride, false responsibility. We’re just meant to treasure life & love.

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I'm a musician, a podcaster, a blogger & I work in marketing. I live in Australia and have two dogs named Ned & Sasha.


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