Most people are under no delusion that women are equally violent as men and, despite being less physically strong, equally capable of horrific crimes.
The problem is the system is based around a Matriarchal structure which assumes that “all men are perpetrators and all women are victims”.
A few years ago I was supporting a man whose wife was extremely and consistently violent, moderately financially abusive, extremely controlling. She would use his 2 daughters as leverage. She would hit them to punish him. Because she knew he couldn’t do anything. They were still toddlers. He told me he would pick them up in his arms and stand in a corner so she would just hit his back. He’d stay there until she stopped.
One day he asked me if we could go out and talk it through. She said he was only allowed out for an hour because she was tired. She’d just gone to Europe for 2 weeks, paid for by him, and she was still feeling jet lagged a week later. He said he hadn’t had a day off work or looking after the kids in 7 months so he was going to be out for a few hours with me.
She said that wasn’t okay.
While he was with me he received several hundred messages and missed calls. I encouraged not to cower to her. The messages became more extreme. I didn’t realise how bad it was. Men tend to play these things down out of embarrassment and exhaustion. Men just don’t like drama. He played me recordings of the abuse just from the last few days. I told him that he needs to press charges. He can’t allow her to abuse him and the girls like that. He winced at the idea.
Then it got worse.
She is a “Christian”. She said that what he was doing was against God because he was abandoning his family and quoted some scripture. Then she said God was going to kill his daughters as a punishment. She is a prophet sent by God and if he didn’t obey the word of God then this will be the consequence. I said mate we’re going to the police.
The police officer flat out refused to take a complaint. I told the officer I’ve been working in this area for a long time. (This was the first man I’d taken to the police in a situation like this). The police leaned in and whispered, “come with me”.
We walked outside where noone could hear. He said, “Listen guys, you have to play the long game, I’ve just been through this myself, record everything and build a case, you’ll need to fight it out in court and it will take years. But there is nothing I can do. Good luck.”
I drove him back to the home. She has a tracking app on his phone so she knew we were at the police station. From that day on she his forbidden him to talk with me. We messaged once and I saw him briefly in public once. She got his phone and found out and punished him. I haven’t seen or heard from him since.
Then she got her friends together and tracked down every ex girlfriend of mine. Every person who has an issue with me and started a smear campaign. A few of my mates’ wives (wife of my mates? I don’t know how to say this) received messages, not from her, but from her friend with a list of allegations about me. Some were stupid things that I’ve done years ago that they found out. Most of the things on the list were things that happened TO ME not done BY ME. I read the list and I sounded like an awful person! I would hate me if I heard this stuff about me. I lost several friendships and supporters of my charity through this.
These are types of abuse women use every day. But we don’t have any laws to prosecute women who do this. Men go to prison in our country for selling cannabis or punching someone in a bar. But women can destroy lives without consequence. This is the Matriarchy and we need to address this if we are going to have a fair and equal society.